It is 3:30 a.m., and I cannot sleep.
This happens every now and then either because something is on my mind or because I went to bed too late. Regardless of the reason, I am up and hoping that sleep meds will kick in quickly.
As is often the case when I cannot sleep, I have turned to my phone (against all wise sleep doctor advise) for a bit of distraction from the fact that I cannot sleep. What is super annoying about not sleeping tonight is that morning means Monday – the start of the week, the first day for new staff in my district, and the first day of a week training the new staff. I need to sleep!
This morning, while I tended sleeping twins (adorable!!) in the nursery, I had discovered that I could download software onto “the boiphren” (my phone’s nickname) and write (with my thumbs) blogposts on my phone without my computer available. Heee-haaaa!!! A few minutes ago, I downloaded the software so that I could give it a whirl. If this works, I can blog from (not during) court!!
The name of this blog came to me in July as I had felt a manic sideways turn coming on. I can tell that this is about to happen in the same way that some can smell a storm coming from the north. When this happens, I struggle to sleep because my mind doesn’t want to shut down. The name seemed fitting, and I imagined sparse posts with choppy content that couldn’t pull off a concluding paragraph, let alone have any point or even readers! I have since turned downward and hover around the middle ground that – for me – is a great place that I seek to stay in as long as possible.
Since I started blogging daily on August 1, I find myself seeing blog content all over in my daily life! And I think that my posts to this point have reflected an active but calm person, one who maybe takes herself too seriously, one who reveals a bit more about herself in itty tidbits, and one whose racing mind can pull thoughts together somewhat decently.
That is not the person blogging tonight. The mind whirls around – almost outside of myself – and complete thoughts can evade. Typing with thumbs on my phone forces my brain to slow a tish but not much…just enough to keep typing. These are the nights that I envisioned that a blog would help. Ideas, plans, and words could flow effortlessly out of me, and I would have finally caught them and put them down on “paper.”
I just had not planned on doing this with my thumbs. Well, surprise!!