Dear Facebook (aka – Mark Zuckerberg),
I feel as though it is time for you to hear from one of your abused girlfriends. It is time for you to know what I think of you. I think a lot of us think this way right now.
You used to love me. Back when I was just one of the “college girls” (ok – graduate school…but still!) who signed up for your services, you needed me. I made you who you are. I am one of the many who was loyal to your little “facebook idea” before everyone else loved you.
Then you decided you needed more love. I am fine with the fact that you now let anyone over the age of 13 – and even some who lie about being 13 – be your girlfriends. It didn’t bother me when more and more people I know fell in love with you. In fact, I loved it. I was proud to be a part of the “Facebook Nation” – the third most populous nation on this planet.
I loved how you connect us all together, how you bring us together around businesses, causes, events, our joys, and our struggles. Although you do push our co-dependent tendencies at times into unhealth, for the most part you are a great asset to our lives. You wooed me in. You wooed my friends in. We rely on you now.
Just when we thought we could trust you, though, you changed. You changed Facebook. You took away the control that we had over our news feeds, and you decided what we should read and who it should be about. I do not want you to make those decisions for me. I am thirty-seven years old, I had one mother, and I do not need you to tell me how to view the world. You have no right to decide what a “top post” is to me. That is my decision – stay out of it. You might have all of my information stored on your server, but you should not decide what I do with it or how it is used.
What is really funny is that I have given seminars on how educators can use you to increase learning. Wow – I am a sucker for Zucker…berg.
I am angry with you. But what I am the most angry about is that I feel trapped in this relationship. All of my friends are friends with you! What will my life be like without you? How in the world could you do this to me? Don’t you remember how important I was to you back when you first started…before you were a “big star”?
And so…for now…I am not deleting my profile or removing my account. But – I probably will spend less of my life getting sucked into the lives of others. Maybe I will email some of them. Maybe I will call the ones that I love the most. Or – quite possibly – I might start seeing some of them in person.
Perhaps I should thank you. Change is good sometimes. This one might be for the better. If I break up with you, I do not think I will regret it.
Stacy A. Bender, potentially recovering abused girlfriend of Facebook