A Confession: I Prefer Not to be a Bother

by Stacy Bender

In the back of my mind, there is a little person who crouches in a corner and hopes to be noticed.  She is probably between 3 and 5 years old.  She does not make much noise, she does not demand much attention, but she is there.

I do not have multiple personalities, and I have been assured that we all have a tiny person who needs to be reminded that he or she is important to someone.

While I have spent quite a few years of therapy to understand this little person and often feel that I can handle her emotional battles, I think that today’s reading of Luke 8:40-48 explains her a bit more.

As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. 43 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years,[c] but no one could heal her. 44 She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak,and immediately her bleeding stopped.

45 “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master,the people are crowding and pressing against you.”

46 But Jesus said, “Someone touched me;I know that power has gone out from me.”

47 Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. 48 Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”

This woman had a problem, and she knew who could fix that problem.  While she knew this, she did not want to be a bother.  Instead, she believed that touching just the hem of the cloak on Jesus would heal her.

And it did.

She believed that any amount of attention from the Savior would do her some good.  She did not want to bother Him, but she desperately wanted to be healed.

Jesus knew instantly that someone had touched Him and had received healing from His touch.  And He wanted to know who she was.

When the Savior heals, He wants to heal and to KNOW us.

I think that the little person crouching in the back of my mind forgets that her Savior lives, knows, and loves her.

That little person is me, of course, and she exaggerates all of the parts of me.  When she throws a tantrum, I must listen for it must be that I want to throw a tantrum.  When she is sad, I must be sad.

What she needs to remember – what I need to remember – is that I am not a bother to God.  He wants me to come, trembling as the woman did, with all of my burdens, ailments, and cares to put at His feet, to look Him in the face, and to ask Him for a healing touch. He does not want me crouching in the corner, hiding under the bed, or creeping along underfoot.

He does not want me to think I am not worthy of His touch…for He created me and He desires to see me well and redeemed through His Son’s blood.

How can this truth permeate our lives today?

We need to stop thinking that we are a bother to our Father! He wants to have a relationship with us, and that is not a bother.  Amen?

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